SXSW captures the attention of our most brilliant minds. It inspires us to play, to solve complex problems with technology, and to continue to push the envelope. When we get together, we wonder about the future of driving, the future of public health, and the future of food systems et cetera—but what is continuously missing from this picture? The common denominator vital to every human: the future of relationships.

Throughout her decades as a wife, mother, clinical therapist, and psychologist and woman of the world, Esther Perel has come to understand that for all of us, “the quality of your relationships is what determines the quality of your life.” Her TED Talks, which explore the tension between security and freedom, intimacy and self-discovery, have inspired millions:

As a keynote speaker for SXSW, Perel spoke to the audience about this atypical, yet universal topic. Her Audible podcast, Where Should We Begin, brings listeners into the intimate space of her office, while couples unpack their deepest, most-intimate issues. At some point, an audience-member asked how do we navigate women’s empowerment today, and what about men? She asked the audience to don eye masks, heighten their listening power, and hear what a few minutes of discussion reveals about femininity and masculinity.

“We need to help women find their power and voice,” Perel said, “and help men find vulnerability and emotion.” She illustrated that the lives of women will not change until men come along with us, and to do that, we must find a way to invite nuance and complexity while keeping the dialogue open. Perel touched on contemporary communication channels, and compelled us to call—not text—in order to bring relationships back, havin their centrality acknowledged so nothing hides in plain sight. “What do you do to connect with others? How often do you avoid showing up through using emojis?” Perel asked.

Perel recently published a book, The State of Affairs, which has become a New York Times Bestseller. She compelled the audience, “relationships are your stories. Write well and edit often.”